There are some dangers in shaking loose the binds of trauma to freely embrace organic openness. Doing so over an intense weekend retreat, only to then hop out into the harsh core flow of civilisation may just be radically unwise… or at least deeply humiliating.
It seems they have it in for me, all those travellers helpers that supply useful information in a language that you really don’t have a capacity to decode. Yesterday was bad. Stage one was elegant and precise. Stage two uneventful and a known. Stage three went beyond appropriately smoothly, as did the next one. The following bit gets interesting – so interesting that I’d rather it be forgotten by all concerned…
Should I blame it on the tech? Modern trains and buses allow some connectivity, but not always for the major chunky tasks. The padded bench just beyond the café offered good stabile WiFi; things were to be accomplished during the hour plus stop-over. It would even be augmented as the sign above the train track waiting area clearly stated that lateness was occurring in an increment of some 17 minutes. I sunk in.
When I emerged, it was time for balanced genteel action; sauntering would not have been out of place. Down one escalator and up its partner, just to eliminate one possible source of confusion. Info Board B could prove useful. To no ones surprise but mine, there appeared to be a discrepancy. That lateness factor was not registered in the new alternative system. Everything was perfectly on schedule — except me.
Franticness took me as the two available minutes got shrunk into the last expiring seconds. Helpful souls deduced my panic and made way at the points of congestion; less helpful bureaucrats created more…. Sent from gate to gate to info desk, I regressed into a proper basket case. The woman just finishing up in front of me in the queue hastened to gather her items and step aside. I careened from alarming eruptions of disbelieving terror to hardly less alarming giddy laughter. Behind her protective desk the company representative had little choice but to become my saviour. I adroitly dismissed the events of history, and focussed upon concrete solutions. Clouds parted. A sticker added to my ticket mercifully put me on the next train only thirty minutes later; I couldn’t unravel if its small print labelled me a psychiatric risk. When my final interaction was to blow a dramatic oversized kiss, much relief was registered by all in attendance. Tomorrow would be significantly worse…
——
Again it started with panache: I asked directions, absorbed them, and adroitly made it to the airport on the stroke of my two hour buffer zone time. Such negotiations are within the area of my competence; gather the relevant information in the appropriate order and amounts: first things come often first. I knew my flight time and destination — perched at the top of the third column of outgoing flights, these were readily confirmed. The flights outward board directed me and my baggage to a check-in zone. One is a fool to hop into the first visible queue; considerable time may be saved by talking with a machine. For some reason, mine didn’t really like me. I followed another pair of rejects into the long snaking line between the dingily barriers. This took awhile. It took another while. Finally, I stood front and centre and was waved towards a competent looking elder worker. Equipped with my basic info, he had bad news. This was the wrong queue; I was to go elsewhere down the hall?
How could this be? I can read numbers, I recognise a logo when I see one. I baulk at repeating the same cycle, but must check if my eyes were deceiving me. Some hand gestures later an attendant attendant confirms my initial calculations. I hop a queue. Another competent soul gets equally stuck; my original desk man plucks up my case and parades me back to the flight board, but is on his way to a break and doesn’t stop to dissect the source of my confusion. — Exceptionally loud howls of anguish, which benefit from many years of practice freeing the natural voice, echo through the departure hall. — Perhaps folk turn; someone pulls himself together. Again jumping the queue, a fresh trainee gets confronted with my helplessness. I am sent to the info help office, and then back into the loop. An older, wiser is summonsed. Patiently I am led to the source of my misinformation: it seems two airlines share the identical destination and departure time. Mine was buried at the bottom of the previous column. We, the doddering are offered support along the march into the last corral. A hand is to hold. And to kiss. I can mange the last few meters on my own.
Again, never ever wishing to talk with a living soul ever again, I revert to the boarding pass machine. It acknowledges me and my existence, it assigns me an honourable seat number by a window. Then it dries, we can go no further: it spews out a voucher with a friendly sounding directions to show this to a departures officer. Also in the text is a cryptic allusion to me having issued an unfavourable comment. Has the airline has branded me a nær-do-well; do they discreetly call their psychiatric corps to cart me away for pressing the buttons in the wrong order? I meekly take my place at the back of the now dwindling line of stragglers.
One of the ticket expeditors needs a break; she suddenly busies herself rearranging the precious posts supporting the crowd containment pattern, and me. Three workers have become two. Time has been expended, but nothing will be running on time today. I finally find myself in position next. The amount of sweat exuded during the previous hour must be palpable. Other than my carefully calculated hand baggage being mandatorily confiscated as reward for being next last in line, further complications pronounce themselves by their absence. Always hopeful for justice, I mention the scheduling collision at the ticket desk. They know. I am perhaps not the first mad howler.






Designing Demos
Active Irresistibility?







